Yesterday I played indoor, five-a-side football for the first time in years. It was a friendly 4-a-side match as we didn’t have enough players for a real game of five-a-side football. It was also the first aerobic exercise I’ve done in the past 12 months (other than making the beast with two backs of course).

After just 30 minutes of running around, I honestly thought I was going to puke. I left the sports hall to get a drink in the changing rooms. After a minute of drinking water and leaning over the loo, the feeling of nausea passed, and I was able to return to the match, albeit running a little slower. Clearly I am very unfit. I’m not fit, just don’t do enough exercise. Oh well. I’ve vowed to continue with this crazy sport, and 40 minutes of football each week will hopefully have me as fit as a butcher’s dog. Or something.