Rachel is out tonight, and in the process of making myself fishfinger sandwiches I find myself asking how many fishfingers is just right. I am sure this is a question Darren has an answer to, since he knows the right number of Weetabix and many other things.

I pour some out and take a look. 6 fishfingers is too few. 8 looks to be too many. 7 is both too few and too many, depending on the angle from which I look at the oven tray.

Apparently one fishfinger has 2.7% of my recommended daily allowance of calories, meaning it would take 37 to see me through a day, but 37 can’t possibly ever be the right number of fishfingers.

Help. And quickly, because the oven is nearly ready.

For a fishfinger sandwich, the optimum number depends on the bread – but four seems to be the best number for the regular British sliced loaf.

The real question, of course, is what to put on it. Ketchup? Mayonnaise? Salad cream? Or – my partner’s new favourite – Sandwich Spread?

I foolishly went for 7. How is an odd number ever going to work out with two sandwiches? 8 would have been perfect after all.

Oh, and I reckon you can’t go wrong with a bit of ketchup. Start messing around with mayo or salad cream and you might end up regretting it. Mind you.. I haven’t have a fishfinger and salad cream sandwich for a long time now. Maybe next time…

Were they breadcrumb coated or crispy batter? 8 fish fingers sounds like a lot to me.

Fishfingers, or fishsticks as they are called on this side of ‘the pond’, adhere to a very strict formula for consumption in piecewise parametric form as follows:

Number of fishfingers to eat =

3 if age 8 years old

:-)

HEY my comment got cut off! Here is perhaps a more acceptably formatted version

Number of fishfingers to eat =

3 if age 8 is years old, 0 otherwise – go eat something that grown-ups eat :-)

[never been a fishsticks fan :-)]

I find the term “fishfingers” to be faintly disturbing.

But inquiring minds want to know … what is the right number of Weetabix?

Had I been in you would only have had 4.

We have a fish finger face off going down where 2 people will battle off to eat 100 fish fingers in 15 minutes…. keep posted for the results

I am going to go for 8 fishfingers tonight 2 lots of 4 with Mayo Mmmmmmm